Firbush Retreats Firbush retreats are organized and led by Robert T. Walker. Firbush retreats are designed to make the best theology accessible to as many people as possible and especially those not trained in theology and often not familiar with routine technical terms. They combine times of worship and prayer with reflection on a theme related to Torrance theology. For more information see https://tftorrance.org/firbush. ----------- Firbush Retreat Summer 2015 Baxter Kruger, "The Message of the Gospel: II" https://tftorrance.org/firbushS2015 The audio recording for this presentation is available on the Firbush Retreat section of the website for the Thomas F. Torrance Theological Fellowship. The following AI transcript is too rough to rely upon, but perhaps useful for word searches and time-stamps. It is unretouched; if anyone wishes to listen to it and clean it up we will be happy to post an improved version (contact the webmasters). We invite speakers to send us slides for their talks, which we will post alongside the audios and transcripts. If any speaker wishes to have their talk removed from the website, just let us know and we'll take down both the audio and the transcript. ------------ 00:00-00:11 and this morning or last night I said, Lord, I've only got an hour and what would you have me say? 00:11-00:17 What would be a good thing to do with this particular group of people that can ignite their imagination? 00:17-00:25 And as Lewis said when he read George McDonald's "Phantastes," he said, "My imagination was baptized." 00:25-00:31 It took 18 years for my brain to catch up, but he said he got it and that's what we're talking about. 00:31-00:37 It's the imagination of the baptism of the heart and the knowledge of the heart and the quickening, awakening of the heart. 00:37-00:44 So he said to me, "Tell them about the I am nots." 00:44-00:50 Because I think at this point when we, I'm going to do a diagram that will help you understand this is my journey. 00:50-00:57 One of my questions has been, okay, I'm in Jesus. Jesus is in me. 00:57-01:00 I'm seated with him in the heaven places above all rule and authority. 01:00-01:08 It does not look like this. For years, I took that it doesn't look like this is proof that it could not be so yet. 01:08-01:18 But in fact, the mess that we still see in our lives, the mess that I still see in my life is not proof that I'm not in Jesus. 01:18-01:22 It's proof that there's something else at work in me that's not Jesus. 01:22-01:31 And what is that? And so exploring this, I begin to open up the whole question of how the ophus, I like this. 01:31-01:34 Ophus is the Greek word for serpent. 01:34-01:40 So I call Satan ophus because it sounds like doofus. 01:40-01:49 Because he's a coward and he hides in the dark and he prays on children. 01:49-01:53 Let me read to you a passage from the book of Revelation. 01:53-02:00 This is the nativity scene that we don't ever think about. 02:00-02:07 Because here there are no angels singing, there are no shepherds and no wise men. 02:07-02:17 And another sign appeared in heaven and behold a great red dragon having seven heads and ten horns and on his heads were seven diadems. 02:17-02:22 And his tail swept away a third of the stars of heaven and threw them to the earth. 02:22-02:30 And the dragon stood before the woman who was about to give birth so that when she gave birth he might devour her child. 02:30-02:40 And she gave birth to a son, a male, who was to rule all the nations with a rod of iron and her child was caught up to God and to his throne. 02:40-02:50 And the woman fled into the wilderness where she had a place prepared by God so that she might be nourished for 1260 days. 02:50-03:01 I don't know about the days and the numbers but I think that what John has given to us is a way of thinking about how evil attacks us. 03:01-03:07 As Paul teaches us, nothing can separate us from the love of the Father, Son, and Spirit. 03:07-03:14 There is no power in heaven or earth that can reach in and take us out of Jesus and out of the Father's arms and out of the communion of the Spirit. 03:14-03:21 But there is a power that can confuse us about who we are and that's all he has. 03:21-03:28 How many of you have ever heard this whisper to you somewhere in your mind or in your heart? 03:28-03:36 I am not. How many of you have heard that this day? 03:36-04:01 I am not good enough. I am not special. I am not important. I am not loved or lovable. 04:01-04:16 I do this diagram a lot when I travel and I ask people, "What are your 'I am not's?' What have you heard whispered in this one lady?" 04:16-04:20 She said, "I am not worthy." 04:20-04:39 She then asked me if she could tell her story and I said sure. She stood up and she said, "Baxter, I was sexually abused by my brothers and my uncle when I was a little girl." 04:39-04:50 She said, "That alone was devastating." But she said, "What absolutely broke my heart was that my mother knew it and did not do anything to stop it." 04:50-04:59 Now, do you think the statement "I am not worthy" is just a mere idea that is floating around inside of her head? 04:59-05:05 It is a conclusion and it's a conclusion that has become her eyes. 05:05-05:09 What do you think she hears when she hears the gospel? 05:09-05:12 She is going to do the "Yes, but" shuffle. 05:12-05:19 "Yeah, God loves me, but I know I am not worthy." 05:19-05:21 That's funny isn't it? 05:21-05:23 "Yes, but" shuffle, we all do it. 05:23-05:34 I have a friend who tells his story. He said, "Baxter, when I was five years old, maybe six, he said, "My father was plowing in the field behind a mule." 05:34-05:36 This man is 80 years old now. 05:36-05:41 When he told me the story about five years ago, his hands were still shaking when he told the story. 05:41-05:53 He said, "My dad whistled and did his finger like this, which said, "Message to his mother, 'Send a tape,' because I've worn through the gloves and I'm getting blisters." 05:53-05:55 So he said, "I can do that." 05:55-05:58 So he's all excited about being able to help his dad. 05:58-06:08 He tore off a piece of tape about six inches long. Even when he was telling me the story 70 years later, you could see that it was just like it was happening right then and there. 06:08-06:12 He said, "I held it and I was so excited because I was finally going to be able to help my dad. 06:12-06:18 When I went under the fence, the tape stuck together. By the time I got to my dad, it was just a ball." 06:18-06:30 He said, "My dad looked at me with just pure disgust, snatched the tape, put his head on my head, spun me around, kicked me in the butt, knocked me on the ground." 06:30-06:34 He said, "I peed in my pants and I cried all the way back to the house." 06:34-06:38 He's telling me this 70 years later, his hands are still shaking. 06:38-06:46 He said, "I learned that day that I was not okay. It was not good enough for me to be me. 06:46-06:49 I was not acceptable." 06:49-07:03 I think Ophes knows that we are seated in Jesus above him and above all rule and authority. 07:03-07:10 His only hope is to figure out a way to keep us from knowing that and keep us from believing that when we hear it. 07:10-07:17 We do have authority in Jesus over all things. That is the clear teaching of the New Testament. 07:17-07:23 One of the reasons that we don't see more of what we were talking about, miraculous things, is because we don't know who we are. 07:23-07:31 We don't know in whom we are. We don't see it and we see it, but we minimize it. We invalidate it. 07:31-07:46 When Ophes comes in, he's crouching. He's crouching beside us when we're born, just like he did for Jesus. 07:46-07:55 He was there because the minute Jesus was born, he was going to devour him because Jesus cannot be born. 07:55-08:00 Jesus cannot be allowed to speak on planet earth. Jesus cannot be allowed to raise his church. 08:00-08:06 I think Ophes does the same thing with you and me, just like he did my friend, just like he did that young lady. 08:06-08:11 He waits in the periphery, in the shadow of our lives, until something happens. 08:11-08:15 Something happens that crushes our hearts right here. 08:15-08:21 Then he whispers his interpretation to us. 08:21-08:31 We hear it and we don't have the wherewithal to distinguish between his voice and our own. 08:31-08:39 We believe it's the truth. We believe it's the truth. 08:39-08:50 You tell me, what are some of your "I am nots" about this one? 08:50-08:53 I am not there yet. 08:53-09:04 If you believe that you're not there, and you're a man, what do you think is going to happen in your relationship with your wife and your children? 09:04-09:15 You're going to seize upon something that you believe will make you there, whether it's money, position, maybe a doctorate in theology, maybe a certain car or something. 09:15-09:27 That thing is not just something you desire, it is something now that you must have because you believe, without even thinking and processing this, that if you can get that or get to that place, you will finally be there. 09:27-09:30 You're wholesale preoccupied with this. 09:30-09:35 Even when you're sitting beside your wife, you are not with your wife. 09:35-09:43 Even though you're taking time to be with your children, you're not with them because you're being driven by this "I'm not there yet." 09:43-09:46 But I can be, if I can get this thing. 09:46-09:54 You and I know we've lived long enough to know you get the thing and it doesn't have any power in it, and yet we've lived. 09:54-10:03 What do you think happens to someone who believes that they're not special and they're married to someone who believes they're not worthy? 10:03-10:12 At first it's great because you make each other feel special and make each other feel worthy, but just in a few short years you begin to realize that this person does not quite have the power. 10:12-10:18 To deal with whatever it is I thought, and before long the relationship begins to break down. 10:18-10:22 All of it's rooted in the life of us as I am not. 10:22-10:28 Let me tell you a story about my life. 10:28-10:39 The day that I graduated from the University of Aberdeen, King's College, my grandmother managed somehow to phone me in Bankry. 10:39-10:47 And she told me, she said, "I want you to bring your PhD certificate. I want to hold it in my hands." 10:47-10:49 I said, "I'm coming home this summer, I'll bring it." And I did. 10:49-10:52 Beth and I and the kids went home that summer and I took it to my grandmother. 10:52-11:00 We went down to her house, and her house, the back garden, backed up to the back garden of the house that I grew up in. 11:00-11:13 So she could always look out her back kitchen window and watch us boys, whatever we were doing, playing in the yard or whatever, or the garth, excuse me. 11:13-11:18 So I took my degree down to my grandmother and I sat down on the couch with her. 11:18-11:32 Now she was four feet eleven, she claimed. And we called her behind her back, Napoleon. 11:32-11:40 We knew who was in charge. And code was we'd stick our fingers in her hand and... 11:40-11:49 But my grandmother loved education. And when she was dying, she would wake up and have these lucid intervals and she would quote Shakespeare theatrically. 11:49-11:53 And then she would quote the Psalter at length, beautifully. 11:53-11:59 She loved education. So anything we wanted to have a go at education-wise, she was going to do what she could do to help us do it. 11:59-12:05 So she helped me and Beth, she helped us to make, financially, she helped us pray for us. 12:05-12:11 So I went there and I took my degree and I unrolled it and I showed it to her. And she started crying. 12:11-12:15 And she said, "This is one of the happiest days of my life." And I said, "Thank you, Grandmother." 12:15-12:23 I said, "You know, you helped." And my brothers are both lawyers and, you know, it's not like somebody... 12:23-12:29 It's a family of super complete, overachieving machines because we believe we're not yet. 12:29-12:35 So what happens, you could produce a bunch of overachievers. I don't think any of you know anything about that, though, would you? 12:35-12:39 So my grandmother's crying and she says, "I want to tell you something." 12:39-12:44 She said, "When you were a little boy..." 12:44-12:50 And she stood up and she walked over and she went to her kitchen and she looked out the window and she said, 12:50-12:55 "You see the back steps of the old..." what she called the old house. She grew up in that house, too. 12:55-12:59 She said, "The back steps of the old house?" I said, "Yeah, by the garage." She said, "Yeah." 12:59-13:04 She said, "When you were a little boy, you would sit right there by yourself. Do you remember this?" 13:04-13:12 I said, "No." I said, "I remember being on top of that giant magnolia tree and I remember blowing things up and I remember getting into trouble." 13:12-13:23 And she said, "Come on." And so we walked out her back steps and we walked up past the big magnolia tree and we walked over and we were sitting there looking at these steps at the back of my house that I grew up in. 13:23-13:31 And she said, "You would sit right here for hours by yourself." And she said, "Do you not remember this?" 13:31-13:37 I said, "I don't ever remember sitting anywhere except on my horse. My rocking horse was in the swing." 13:37-13:43 And she said, "Well, one day I just decided I had to come find out what you were thinking about." 13:43-13:54 And she said, "So I walked up here and I sat down beside you on these steps and we talked the spell." 13:54-14:09 And she said, "You don't remember at all?" I said, "I do not." She said, "I stood up and I thought to myself, 'Bless his heart. He's just dumb.'" 14:09-14:21 Every family has one. We're just going to have to take care of you. 14:21-14:30 I don't remember that, but I do know it. I do know it. 14:30-14:42 And I do know the wound of believing that I'm not smart to the point at which I almost didn't go to college because my brothers are smart. 14:42-14:46 They're never going to be lawyers like my dad, but I'm not smart. 14:46-14:52 And I look back now and I think about the things that I'm doing on planet Earth right now, what the Lord has put me in the middle of. 14:52-14:59 And I think that I had an enemy way back there trying to take me out, way back there. 14:59-15:05 And to this day, I still don't believe that I am smart. I believe I work hard. 15:05-15:13 But Jesus spoke to me about this. He spoke to me all along the way, but I couldn't receive it. 15:13-15:18 But He's spoken to me recently about this in a very powerful way and He just sent me to sit back straight. 15:18-15:30 You are in me and I'm in you and you have my mind. I think I'm smart. I think I'm worthy. I think I'm good enough. 15:30-15:34 I think I'm there yet. And I think you are too in me. 15:34-15:41 See, we take these wounds and Opus answers them, whispers his answer. I am not. 15:41-15:52 I learned this, this language from, of course, the Gospel of John. And I'll read to you one of the places. 15:52-16:03 First time I saw it. It's in John 18. And it's in John's Gospel. This is in dramatic contrast to Jesus' "I am" when He speaks and the soldiers fall to the ground. 16:03-16:06 We just don't have time to go into that today. Listen to this. 16:06-16:15 "Simon Peter was following Jesus and so was another disciple." This is in the context of Jesus' arrest and the beginning of His trial. 16:15-16:22 "That disciple was known to the high priest and entered with Jesus into the court of the high priest. But Peter was standing at the door outside. 16:22-16:27 So the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to the doorkeeper and brought in Peter. 16:27-16:35 The slave girl, therefore, who kept the door, said to Peter, 'You are not also one of this man's disciples, are you?' 16:35-16:39 And he said, 'I am not.'" 16:39-16:48 Jesus is going to heal Peter's "I am not" on the beach at the end of the Gospel of John. 16:48-16:54 I'll talk about that in a moment. But right now, I want you to see. I want you to process with me a little bit about this. 16:54-17:00 To me, insofar as we are willing to face what Peter faced on the beach, 17:00-17:10 and we are willing to face all my "I am not's" insofar as we get to hear Jesus' "I am" in the same spot inside of us. 17:10-17:13 That's the way it works. 17:13-17:22 Part of the reason that what Tom Torrance called the "unconditional love of God" or what I call the "undiluted gospel" is so important. 17:22-17:27 Part of the reason that it is so critical that we stand firm and tell people, 17:27-17:32 "Jesus is in you and you are in Jesus," is because until people know that that's true, 17:32-17:35 or at least get an inkling on it, they are not ever going to look at this. 17:35-17:43 Because if they look at this, they now have proof as they stand before God that they are no good and unworthy. 17:43-17:51 Most people that go to counseling, go to counseling to find an answer that helps them understand why the problem is their spouse's fault. 17:51-17:57 It's the truth, because we can't afford to look inside. 17:57-18:04 We can't afford to look inside and face this, because it's all we've got, unless we know there's something deeper about us. 18:04-18:08 And if you know there's something deeper about you than the mess, and that namely is Jesus, 18:08-18:14 you begin to see the "I am not's" and the mess is the thing that's keeping you from being able to live your freedom in Jesus. 18:14-18:20 Or to put it another way, it's the beaver dam inside of your soul that's keeping the river from flowing. 18:20-18:30 So, tell me, my two big ones where I'm not smart, and I'm not there yet. 18:30-18:35 Not surprising that I went for a PhD, is it? 18:35-18:39 And not just doing PhD, but one over here. 18:39-18:46 And it's not surprising also that the Lord says, "I can take you going for a PhD, and I can use that. 18:46-18:48 And I can meet you in the middle of it." 18:48-18:54 So he meets us in the middle of all the stuff that we try to pull off, and then he does his miraculous thing. 18:54-18:59 So, tell me, anybody want to say, "What is your 'I am not'?" 18:59-19:03 Or, "Some of us have families." 19:03-19:06 Some of us have families. 19:06-19:10 I am not family. 19:10-19:12 You see what I'm saying, though. 19:12-19:19 And this is something that happens to us early, and then it is the interpretation that I am not as whispered to us. 19:19-19:24 And then, Opus hides the memory. 19:24-19:28 So when we think back about our lives, we don't even think about that. 19:28-19:30 I honestly do not remember. 19:30-19:35 But my grandmother sees me as spending a lot of time sitting on those steps by myself. 19:35-19:37 That's not the childhood memory that I remember. 19:37-19:42 I do remember being on the porch, swinging. 19:42-19:47 My mother's interpretation of all of this is that you were born a theologian. 19:47-19:50 You were wrestling with all of this from the moment that you were born. 19:50-19:52 "I was there," she said. 19:52-20:00 So what happens is this comes into, let's just call this the soul, or our inner world. 20:03-20:07 Paul Young calls this the shack. 20:07-20:12 My friend Julian calls it the inside on the inside. 20:12-20:20 But this is our inner world, and this floods in here, and it creates what inside? 20:20-20:23 Does it create joy? 20:23-20:27 It creates fear. 20:27-20:30 And guilt. 20:30-20:33 And shame. 20:33-20:38 And insecurity. 20:38-20:40 Won't somebody say something? 20:40-20:42 Condemnation. 20:42-20:49 What else? 20:49-20:50 Doubt. 20:50-20:52 Doubt. 20:55-21:02 Now, give me a one-word summary of this stuff. 21:02-21:10 Well, how would you summarize doubt, fear, guilt, shame, insecurity, condemnation, angst? 21:10-21:13 Useless. 21:13-21:15 Anxiety? 21:15-21:18 Useless. 21:18-21:20 Useless. 21:20-21:24 What else? 21:24-21:25 Barriers. 21:25-21:26 Barriers. 21:26-21:30 Incapable. 21:30-21:32 Lies. 21:32-21:33 Lies. 21:33-21:35 Incapable. 21:35-21:40 My one-word summary of this is... 21:40-21:41 Paralysis. 21:41-21:42 ...is... 21:42-21:46 Hell. 21:46-21:48 It's inside. 21:48-21:52 Somebody said paralysis, which is a good one. 21:53-21:54 Umm... 21:54-22:08 This is why, incidentally, you can deliver a paper or a sermon that is exegetically solid, 22:08-22:15 theologically accurate, and delivered with dramatic skill, and yet it be dead as hell. 22:15-22:21 We're talking about the opposite here of the river of living water. 22:21-22:24 This is a river of toxic waste. 22:24-22:25 No. 22:25-22:27 How much? 22:27-22:29 Like in this... 22:29-22:34 What I've come to see is that whatever is going on in my inner world is attaching itself 22:34-22:38 to my words, attaching myself to my actions. 22:38-22:43 So even if I say the right thing, "I love you," all of this is attached to it. 22:43-22:49 And even if I do the right thing, it's still proceeding forth out of this inner place. 22:49-22:52 Now my first question is, how does it get inside? 22:52-22:58 How does it get from a whisper over there somewhere to here in terms of the depth of 22:58-22:59 your heart? 22:59-23:02 And the more important question is, what's Jesus doing about this? 23:02-23:08 Because I can assure you, we can sing our hymns and we can go to church and we can do 23:08-23:13 everything we're supposed to do, but if this is not healed, then we're not making any progress 23:13-23:15 and everybody around us knows it. 23:15-23:18 So, how does it get inside? 23:18-23:21 What's the bridge here? 23:21-23:32 It's by faith. 23:32-23:35 We believe it. 23:35-23:37 Oh, I like this word better. 23:37-23:44 Agreement. 23:44-23:46 What's the difference between faith and agreement? 23:47-23:51 What's the nuance that's added there? 23:51-23:58 Agreement involved, it tells you something else is involved other than you. 23:58-24:00 And that would be, of course, Opus. 24:00-24:03 This is what he believes about himself. 24:03-24:04 I am not. 24:04-24:09 And he knows that one day we're going to see this and we're the ones that are going to 24:09-24:10 tell him that. 24:10-24:15 And he's going to be outed, not only of our own individual lives, but of the whole creation. 24:15-24:20 But he manages to whisper these things to us in the context of real life, real term wounds. 24:20-24:30 And you can see the wounds forming the person and their relationships, or the lack of their 24:30-24:32 relationships, or their churches. 24:32-24:35 You can see the wounds at work. 24:35-24:41 I mean, you can even see how entire denominations are formed out of some of these horrendous 24:41-24:42 "I am nots." 24:42-24:48 And we go to work to create something that we can see that will prove to us that we really 24:48-24:49 are important. 24:49-24:54 I've got a friend back home who is a fantastic architect. 24:54-24:57 He designs buildings that are beautiful. 24:57-25:03 And you tell him, "Hey, that's the most remarkable building I've ever seen." 25:03-25:05 You know what he does? 25:05-25:07 He says, "Thank you." 25:07-25:09 He looks down. 25:09-25:12 See, it is a beautiful building. 25:12-25:14 And he designed it and had it built. 25:14-25:17 And it's a monument of grace and beauty. 25:17-25:21 And people respond, but he can't receive it because of what he's concluded about himself 25:21-25:23 as a little person. 25:23-25:24 And this wound just keeps playing out. 25:24-25:26 Then it becomes your eyes. 25:26-25:28 And you begin to see it everywhere you look. 25:28-25:32 Imagine the woman who went through the hell that she went through, and she's concluded 25:32-25:33 she's not worthy. 25:33-25:38 Just imagine that her husband loves to bring her flowers every Thursday afternoon because 25:38-25:43 in his mind, she's the most beautiful person he's ever known. 25:43-25:45 And each week he brings her flowers. 25:45-25:49 And do you think there's been a single week in her entire life where she ever was able 25:49-25:52 to receive them as a gift? 25:52-25:54 I wonder what he's up to. 25:54-25:58 I wonder what's going on because I'm not worthy of just this kind of grace. 25:58-26:00 I'm not worthy of this kind of love. 26:00-26:02 So it's got to be a catch. 26:02-26:07 Well, how long is it going to take before he just sort of throws up his hand and says, 26:07-26:11 "Look, this is an impenetrable wall here." 26:11-26:17 I think this is what's happened to us. 26:17-26:21 And we're trying to turn to different things to find solutions. 26:21-26:25 One of the things that we try to turn to is religion. 26:25-26:27 What Jordi had over here. 26:27-26:32 Now, my definition of religion is the things that you do for God when you don't know Jesus 26:32-26:35 is in you. 26:35-26:39 Religion is the words and actions and songs and things that we do for God when we do not 26:39-26:42 know that Jesus Christ is in us. 26:42-26:45 But religion is only one answer. 26:45-26:52 I am not special, but I can be if I get or do or find. 26:52-26:54 And at that point it's fill in the blank. 26:54-26:58 If I get married, if I have children. 26:58-27:02 I am not special, but I can be if I can make a certain amount of money and live in a certain 27:02-27:04 part of town. 27:04-27:07 I cannot be special, but I can be if I am ordained. 27:07-27:13 I'm not special, but I can be if I get a new kind of pair of tennis shoes. 27:13-27:15 This is what fuels gangs. 27:15-27:17 This is what fuels divorces. 27:17-27:20 This is what fuels so much that's going on in our cultures. 27:20-27:23 The whole world is riddled with I am not. 27:23-27:24 It fuels battles. 27:24-27:27 It fuels international wars. 27:27-27:31 Because we must prove that we are special. 27:31-27:33 And we're going to choose something to prove it. 27:33-27:37 It drives us to do mad things. 27:37-27:47 And worse is it not only flows into our lives and turns us into those kind of people we 27:47-27:51 are hiding and protecting and afraid, afraid to speak out. 27:51-27:53 Who am I? 27:53-27:56 I want you to see this. 27:56-28:01 I'm trying to give you the intelligible but short version here. 28:01-28:03 So why don't you look at this. 28:03-28:06 This is John Warren verse 19. 28:06-28:14 And this is the witness of John when the Jews sent to him priests and Levites from Jerusalem 28:14-28:16 to ask him. 28:16-28:21 Now here they come, the delegation, the rogue religious elite coming from the big city. 28:21-28:27 You know, you can see them in their smirks of disdain and sauntering out there in their glory. 28:27-28:31 And they're going to ask John a question. 28:31-28:34 I want to know how you think they asked that question. 28:34-28:38 The question is who are you? 28:38-28:41 Do you feel it? 28:41-28:45 We've been sent from them. 28:45-28:52 And they want to know who are you? 28:52-28:58 Who are you to be stirring up the pot in beloved Jerusalem? 28:58-29:00 Who are you? 29:00-29:02 Who are you? 29:02-29:07 And John the Baptist, brother, the strongest cabbage man. 29:07-29:11 And he confessed and he said to them, I'm not Jesus, I'm not the Christ. 29:11-29:12 And they said, well, what then? 29:12-29:14 Are you Elijah? 29:14-29:16 I mean, by what authority are you doing these things? 29:16-29:18 You hadn't been to seminary. 29:18-29:23 You're not even qualified as a lay person because you live out in the wilderness. 29:23-29:26 Who are you to come in here and start speaking and baptizing? 29:26-29:29 If you're not Elijah, you're not the prophet. 29:29-29:32 And he said, I'll tell you who I am. 29:32-29:39 I am the one who's been called by God to point out the Lord and to make a way for him. 29:39-29:44 And he said, I am the voice crying in the wilderness, make straight the way of the Lord. 29:44-29:46 Now they had been sent by the Pharisees. 29:46-29:50 And now you've got the Pharisees, the priests, the Levites who are from Jerusalem. 29:50-29:56 In other words, the entire system knows that we're in trouble now 29:56-29:59 because there's a guy out there who's preaching and stirring up stuff 29:59-30:02 and all the people are going to listen to them because they're not going to listen to us anymore. 30:02-30:05 And they ask him and he said, why then are you baptizing? 30:05-30:07 If you're not the Christ, not Elijah, not the prophet. 30:07-30:13 And John says, I baptize in water, but among you stands one whom you do not know. 30:13-30:15 And then of course he points him out, behold the Lamb of God. 30:15-30:18 I have read that many times and I didn't get it. 30:18-30:22 John the Baptist is standing there. 30:22-30:28 The delegation comes with their accusation, who are you? 30:28-30:30 You don't have the credentials. 30:30-30:37 And even those of us that have credentials know that they don't give you any internal power, not to stand. 30:37-30:39 But who are you? Who are you? 30:39-30:46 John says, I'll tell you who I am. I'm the one who has heard from the Lord for the first time in 400 years 30:46-30:49 and his voice is a whole lot stronger and more powerful than yours. 30:49-30:51 And well then why are you doing all these things? 30:51-30:54 I'll tell you why. I've been sent to prepare the way for the Lord. 30:54-30:56 And did you get it, what he said? 30:56-30:59 John the Baptist is standing there looking at this delegation, these people. 30:59-31:01 Guess who's standing in the middle of them? 31:01-31:11 He said, he's here now. Among you now stands one whom you and all of your religion do not know. 31:11-31:15 He's right there and you don't know who he is. 31:15-31:20 You see that's internal strength. 31:20-31:24 Most of us would have been like Peter, I think. 31:24-31:28 I mean you got that kind of delegation coming at you. 31:28-31:34 Who are you? Well I thought I had a word from God but I'm not sure about that anymore. 31:34-31:41 But John has heard something inside of himself and he's standing at it and then he sees it. 31:41-31:45 And he looks around the room and nobody in the room sees it. 31:45-31:48 They don't see who Jesus is but he does. 31:48-31:51 And he points them out and that's his great joy to point Jesus out. 31:51-32:00 The accusation of Opus constantly, how many of you have been self-conscious for no reason? 32:00-32:03 Driving down the road you feel your face get hot. 32:03-32:07 And what is self-consciousness but fear, fear of exposure. 32:07-32:09 Where is this coming from? That's not Jesus. 32:09-32:12 This is stirring up the I am nots within us. 32:12-32:19 And the worst part of this is if this was all there was to it then it would be horrible and horrendous enough. 32:19-32:28 But it's worse because out of this we then as Adam did and we've done ever since. 32:28-32:39 We project our fear and we create a God, a God in the image of our fear and guilt and shame and insecurity and condemnation and doubt and next to untitled. 32:39-32:42 And this is going on all over planet earth. 32:42-32:45 I can walk in any room and I have. 32:45-32:47 Tell me have you ever heard I am not? 32:47-32:52 Everybody in the room raises their hand and this list as we fill it out is almost always the same. 32:52-32:55 Very rarely do I hear something in the world. 32:55-32:57 Occasionally but rarely. 32:57-33:00 Because we are all under this attack. 33:00-33:01 Who are you? 33:01-33:03 And we didn't know. 33:03-33:09 We were whispered to and lied to and we bought the lie and now we've created a God in the image of this. 33:09-33:12 And this God and you describe him for me. 33:12-33:20 God is distant, angry, judgmental. 33:20-33:25 Alright this God is distant, unapproachable, angry. 33:25-33:27 What else? 33:27-33:30 This judgmental. 33:30-33:35 Displeased. 33:35-33:38 Displeased. 33:38-33:40 Displeased. 33:40-33:43 Disappointed. 33:43-33:47 Disappointed got two p's of one. 33:47-33:52 How about disgusted? 33:52-34:03 My friend John Jennings when he was 82 years old he would visit old folks in the nursing home. 34:03-34:10 And he had my little parable of the dancing God which is on Luke 15 and he would order them by the hundreds. 34:10-34:13 And he would keep them in his golf bag and he would keep them in his car. 34:13-34:16 And when he went to visit folks in the nursing home he would leave them with that. 34:16-34:23 And so there was this one lady who was dying and he went and prayed with her and he handed her a copy of this little parable. 34:23-34:25 And he called me. 34:25-34:30 He said he got his son to call me and tell me the story because he wanted me to know it. 34:30-34:35 And he said I went and prayed for this lady and I left her the little parable of the dancing God which is about the Father's heart. 34:35-34:41 And he said I came back the next week and she was there and she was holding it in her hand. 34:41-34:44 And she said is this true? 34:44-34:47 And he said yes it's true. 34:47-34:54 And she said I spent my whole life believing that God was disgusted with me. 34:54-34:56 So he prayed with her again. 34:56-35:02 And I said I'll be back next week so he comes back in next week and the attendance says that she had passed during the week. 35:02-35:12 And he said the last thing she said to me is you tell Mr. Jennings that if he ever sees Mr. Krueger to thank him for writing that book. 35:12-35:16 And he said the nurse said she loved it. 35:16-35:20 And he said it became an icon to her of a God she had never heard of. 35:20-35:22 She didn't know. 35:22-35:29 And he said and the nurse said now you don't understand you gave that to her two and a half weeks ago it never left her hand. 35:29-35:32 She showered with it. 35:32-35:36 She went to the bathroom she died with it in her hand. 35:36-35:40 He said that's the kind of thing that's going on on planet earth now. 35:40-35:43 All over the world people believe that. 35:43-35:46 This is not a theological debate. 35:46-35:49 This is a matter of life and death. 35:49-35:53 And we've created a God in the image of our own fear and it makes perfect sense. 35:53-35:55 And what does that confirm? 35:55-35:59 It confirms the I am not. 35:59-36:05 And then that confirms the fear and it triangulates and gets going round and round and round. 36:05-36:09 And you know what we've done with this in our family conversation in the last 1500 years in the west. 36:09-36:12 We've got it in our hymnology. 36:12-36:16 And we underline those bits and pieces of the Old Testament that prove this thing. 36:16-36:22 And when we read something in the New Testament that flies in the face of our interpretation we underline it but we can't believe it. 36:22-36:26 That make sense? 36:26-36:35 And not only that but where this whole thing. 36:35-36:43 Where this whole thing finds its point of access. 36:44-36:47 Is in the way we've interpreted that to Jesus. 36:47-36:52 Because we've got a disc God, a holy distant. 36:52-36:56 And we have to use the word love here but it makes no sense. 36:56-36:58 But we use it because it's supposed to. 36:58-37:03 But we have a God who we've defined as holy and holy is defined over and against our fear, guilt and shame. 37:03-37:06 And not in light of the relationship of the Father, Son and Spirit. 37:06-37:09 Which is extraordinary in a class by itself. 37:09-37:11 Nothing like it in the universe. 37:11-37:14 In the way the Father, Son and Spirit love one another that's holiness. 37:14-37:18 But we've defined it in the moral way and we've botched it. 37:18-37:25 And so now we're going to have an entire theological vision that is coming out of this. 37:25-37:33 Where we're going to have a vision of Jesus Christ come to earth in order to deal with this God. 37:33-37:38 And his disappointment and displeasure and distance and unapproachability and anger and judgment. 37:40-37:44 And then we're told that if we believe in Jesus then God's okay with us. 37:44-37:49 But this still has not been dealt with. 37:49-37:57 And now we think we're going to go to heaven and we're going to have a robe around all this so God doesn't see it. 37:57-38:02 I mean we don't want to go to be with that God in heaven. 38:02-38:07 Nobody does. It's just better than the alternative. 38:08-38:13 So we've interpreted the work of Jesus as coming to earth and going to the cross. 38:13-38:20 And somehow, not without revolt mind you, I'm not saying this is the only interpretation. 38:20-38:22 There's always been people who have fought this. 38:22-38:28 In this country here, John McLeod Campbell and George McDonald have always fought. 38:28-38:30 But this is largely the picture. 38:30-38:35 People believe that God is this way and I'm separated and I'm in trouble and Jesus comes down here. 38:35-38:38 And he's going to do something to get God okay with me. 38:38-38:44 And that means that God is not okay with me which confirms that I'm not okay. 38:44-38:47 How in the world will I ever begin to believe that I'm okay? 38:47-38:51 How in the world will I ever begin to look into my father's face? 38:51-38:58 So this whole thing is going on inside of people and you can see it writ large not only in a single individual life. 38:58-39:02 You can see it writ large in people's families being handed down. 39:02-39:05 Same wound again and again and again. 39:05-39:15 My father said to us boys as a joke, I think, but he used to say to us all the time, 39:15-39:17 "You're born trash, you die trash." 39:17-39:19 And he'd just pat you on the back, you know. 39:19-39:22 And not long ago, like two months ago, I was with my dad. 39:22-39:25 He's in assisted living in the town where I live. 39:25-39:29 And he said, he's kind of like, he said, "Born trash, you die trash." 39:29-39:33 And my brother was there, one of my brothers. 39:33-39:41 And I looked at my dad and I said, "Dad, that may or may not be true of you, but it's not true of me. 39:41-39:45 I was not born trash and I will not die trash and neither will you." 39:45-39:49 I have learned how to handle that particular I am not. 39:49-39:52 And I was standing in a strength that's not just me. 39:52-40:01 I'm standing in Jesus' I am that is inside of me, which is able to withstand the condemnation 40:01-40:08 that comes from born trash and die trash, even if it was meant not as a condemnation for my dad 40:08-40:11 that was being used that way this way. 40:11-40:14 And then I told my dad, I said, "You know, you're not born trash either." 40:14-40:19 But then I realized my dad's earthly dad, he never knew because he abandoned him. 40:19-40:21 Probably raised by his grandparents. 40:21-40:24 So he's already feeling rejected and abandoned by his own earthly father. 40:24-40:28 He probably picked up on the phrase, "Born trash, die trash," and he's going to hand it right on. 40:28-40:30 We do the same thing. 40:30-40:36 Now we can try to find an answer to this in religion and in that theology. 40:36-40:43 But what we're living with right now in the year 2015 is we're living with the fact that this theology of the cross 40:43-40:48 and this God does not answer the problem inside the human soul. 40:48-40:54 And it appears as though the church is the last people on earth that have figured this out. 40:54-40:57 Did you hear me? 40:57-41:01 Because we're still clinging, trying to make this thing work. 41:01-41:04 And I'm going to tell you, that is not the gospel. 41:04-41:07 I will tell you what the gospel is. 41:07-41:09 I will tell you what the gospel is. 41:09-41:15 Father, I have made you known to them and I will make it known. 41:15-41:19 In order that the love with which you love me may be in them and I am in them. 41:19-41:27 The only thing that is going to save and heal my people's hearts and their bodies is when they can hear what I know when I hear you. 41:27-41:29 And they can feel what I feel when I see your face. 41:29-41:32 And how on earth am I going to get that into them? 41:32-41:38 Because no matter how clear I speak to them in this world, they're only going to hear the I am nots. 41:38-41:42 So you tell me, where is Jesus Christ in this? 41:42-41:45 What has he done? 41:45-41:52 But find his way right here at the bottom with his I am. 41:52-42:03 And he's saying to you, you are never going to be able to look, have an internal strength to stand against this until you hear that I am. 42:03-42:09 And as you begin to take sides with me against the way you think, you're going to begin to listen to me tell you about who God is. 42:09-42:13 And God is not God the nameless, faceless, omni-being, watching you like a hawk. 42:13-42:15 Jesus said, that's not my Father. 42:15-42:21 That may be what you believe, but I'm asking you to take sides with me against what you believe. 42:21-42:25 And you're going to begin to call this God Allah. 42:25-42:28 Father. 42:28-42:31 And this Father doesn't do abandonment. 42:31-42:33 This Father doesn't do disappointed. 42:33-42:35 This Father doesn't do rejection. 42:35-42:37 This Father doesn't do unapproachable. 42:37-42:40 This Father doesn't do displeased. 42:40-42:47 This Father is thrilled because he planned all of this out in Jesus Christ before the time of the ages. 42:47-42:50 I want to read that verse to you. 42:50-42:52 This is a shocker. 42:52-42:55 There's actually three places in Paul. 42:55-42:59 Again, 2 Timothy. 42:59-43:04 He says, "Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord." 43:04-43:05 That's the code. 43:05-43:08 That's a phrase that's used as a code. 43:08-43:09 The testimony of our Lord. 43:09-43:14 He's talking about don't be ashamed of telling people Christ is in you. 43:14-43:16 Why? 43:16-43:21 He says, "But join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God." 43:21-43:26 You better believe people that have come up with ways in which to deal with all this in their systems, 43:26-43:28 you better believe they're not going to be pleased. 43:28-43:31 They've got people on their hands that are saying, "I am not." 43:31-43:36 They've been very quick to say, "Here's how you can be." 43:36-43:43 I think the entire economy of the United States of America is based on "I am not" and all the people's answers. 43:43-43:48 When that doesn't work, then you move to go get something else and get something else and get something else. 43:48-43:56 Then, when all that doesn't work, we've got an economy, a culture that is designed to entertain you to death. 43:56-43:59 Nobody's going to be still and hear this. 43:59-44:02 When people begin to hear it, then they don't need all the entertainment. 44:02-44:08 They're not beholden to all the idols, just like when Paul was in Ephesus when he preached. 44:08-44:13 The people began to discover who they really were, and they didn't need the idols anymore. 44:13-44:16 The silversmiths certainly were out of job. 44:16-44:21 Listen to this. 44:21-44:27 "Who has saved us with a holy calling, not according to our works, 44:27-44:33 but according to His own purpose and grace, which was granted us in Christ Jesus before the time of the ages." 44:33-44:37 That's important because that tells you the way the Father has always seen you. 44:37-44:42 He's always seen you according to what He has granted to you in Jesus before the foundation of the world. 44:42-44:45 He doesn't see us this way. 44:45-44:51 He sees us in the dark, and Jesus says, "I cannot bear for them to think that you, Father, are like this. 44:51-44:53 I cannot bear it. 44:53-44:57 I'm going in, Papa, and I'm going to go right into the belly of the beast, 44:57-45:01 and I'm going to go right down to the very bottom of it, and how am I going to get there? 45:01-45:04 I'm going to get there by submitting myself to them." 45:04-45:06 We've got this thing backwards. 45:06-45:12 The most famous sermon in American history for good grief is "Sinner's in the Hands of an Angry God," 45:12-45:14 the most famous sermon. 45:14-45:18 I read it first in a little American literature. 45:18-45:22 The most famous sermon is "Sinner's in the Hands of an Angry God." 45:22-45:25 I tell you the gospel. 45:25-45:30 The gospel is that God has placed Himself in the hands of angry sinners. 45:30-45:35 He has come to submit Himself to you and to me in our darkness so He can be down at the bottom 45:35-45:38 so then you can see and know what He sees and knows, 45:38-45:42 and you can feel what He feels, and you can be part of His Spirit, 45:42-45:49 not as you present yourself and as I present myself in some sort of pose here trying to act like I've got it all worked out, 45:49-45:53 but precisely in the place where we're wounded. 45:53-45:59 He tells us, "Take sides with Me, Baxter. Take sides with Me. That is not the way My Father is. 45:59-46:03 Learn from Me. Let Me teach you. I know Him, and I promise you as you get to know Him, 46:03-46:10 you're going to find an internal strength here that is way stronger than anything you could ever manufacture in 50 million millennia. 46:10-46:17 This is Me. This is My I Am inside of you. Stand there and begin to believe." 46:17-46:23 And then He says crazy things like, "Greater work shall you do because I go to the Father." 46:23-46:28 Crazy things like, "Pray for people who are sick." 46:28-46:34 We don't know who we are. We've been handed a bill of goods. Jesus has come to pitch His tent. 46:34-46:40 Where are we on time, Father? I want to be respectful of that. 46:40-46:47 The These are meant to finish at quarter past one. What time is it now? Quarter to. 46:47-46:52 So I've got three more hours. 46:52-47:04 We have it exactly backwards, and the Holy Spirit is now pulling off a great reversal. 47:04-47:09 We are going to see Jesus Christ not coming to the cross to suffer from His Father. 47:09-47:14 He's come to the cross to meet Adam and Eve hiding in fear from His Father in the bushes. 47:14-47:19 And the only way He can get inside of that is not to speak from the outside, but to submit Himself, 47:19-47:22 and to be mocked and beaten and damned by the human race. 47:22-47:28 We're pouring out our wrath on Him, and Jesus says, "I'll take that. I'll take that. I'll take that. I'll take that." 47:28-47:31 And in taking that, He is finding His way inside of our darkness. 47:31-47:35 And that's exactly what Jesus says in John 17. 47:35-47:41 I have made you know nothing, and I will make you know because I cannot bear it for my people who live in this mess. 47:41-47:46 And I don't think we can even begin to have a theological discussion about what's going to happen 47:46-47:53 when we, in this room together, take two or three more steps agreeing with Jesus. 47:53-47:58 I think it's a completely abstract theological question to talk about what's going to look like over there. 47:58-48:03 I think we're going to see New Testament things happening every day as a matter of normal cause 48:03-48:12 when we begin to say, "Jesus Christ, I am in here more seriously when we do okay, since I am not." Amen. 48:12-48:16 [APPLAUSE]